![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emchyHow can I tell if you are angry?
Well there are a few ways. I wish I was more... open about my anger, but I am working on it. One way is I will stop all revelry and give you a look. A very cranky look. I might even walk away. I will probably stop talking much. If I am super pissed I will say something mean and totally inappropriate. Or i will tell you - that's fucked up. no really. it's not cool - that is my preferred way of showing anger. third wau is i will yell. fourth way is i won't realize i am mad until later because i disassociated, then will try to talk to you about it and hope we can make it right.
How should I behave around you if you're angry?
if i am just *angry* but not at you. just listen. maybe get me a drink. talk me into finding a swingset or climbing a tree, or getting into a rasslin match. if i am mad at you. stop. ask me what is going on. ask me why i am mad. this only works if we are not in public and i can actually tell you and not risk crying or yelling in public. if we are in public, give me a kind look or a squeeze, ask if we can talk about it later, and then act like everything is fine. i am much less angry when "everything is fine"
How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? (How is it best to comfort you?)
Lean on me. Buy me a drink. Let me feel taken care of and like i don't have to make sure everyone else is ok. also, soft blankets, old musicals, popcorn, massages, and platonic snuggling really helps.
Are there things we should not discuss?
if you aren't pro choice we should not discuss it. because i will walk away from the friendship after not too long of arguing. if we disagree on a musician, especially a female one, don't bring it up. especially if you are male. because i won't like it. and though we can agree to disagree bringing it up again means to me, that you are being an asshole. otherwise... no. i am pretty open to talking about things. even hard things. it's part of what made me who i am and though not my favorite topic of conversation, it's totally fine.
How should I treat you if you are physically ill?
Offer to bring me movies. and juice. and soup. i will resist but i really like being taken care of when i am sick. i also like it when many people come over and watch the movies with me. feels like family.
What makes you happy, that's in my power to grant as a friend?
playtime! piggyback rides down haight street (you ride). drinks out together. movies. dancy dancin. kindness. attention. communication. long conversations. sharing art. love. and photos of us together. my memory sucks. photos bring it all back so that i don't lose my past.
How would you like me to recognize your birthday?
with a zillion presents :) no really - i like presents. the best kind are small sacred objects that hopefully you made or didn't pay for. and letters. long ones. i love when people write me. i love when our friendship and kindness and love is all out on paper. gives my happy tingly feelings and i reread them all the time.
Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
i love lilacs. nothing is unwelcome - unless it costs a lot and then i might be a little like - why did you give me pricey gift?
Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
winter is too dark. i can get moody in it.
Are there important anniversaries that I should recognize in your life?
september. as a rule - the people i have loved most, and bonded the most with have been virgos. grandfather, mother, etc. so september is very sacred to me. and June 17th. this year will be the official 7 year anniversary of me and the mister on 6/17
Who are the most important people in your life to whom I should defer when making plans on your behalf?
the mister. you can try her at muy_macha but really, she isn't on LJ much.
Well there are a few ways. I wish I was more... open about my anger, but I am working on it. One way is I will stop all revelry and give you a look. A very cranky look. I might even walk away. I will probably stop talking much. If I am super pissed I will say something mean and totally inappropriate. Or i will tell you - that's fucked up. no really. it's not cool - that is my preferred way of showing anger. third wau is i will yell. fourth way is i won't realize i am mad until later because i disassociated, then will try to talk to you about it and hope we can make it right.
How should I behave around you if you're angry?
if i am just *angry* but not at you. just listen. maybe get me a drink. talk me into finding a swingset or climbing a tree, or getting into a rasslin match. if i am mad at you. stop. ask me what is going on. ask me why i am mad. this only works if we are not in public and i can actually tell you and not risk crying or yelling in public. if we are in public, give me a kind look or a squeeze, ask if we can talk about it later, and then act like everything is fine. i am much less angry when "everything is fine"
How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? (How is it best to comfort you?)
Lean on me. Buy me a drink. Let me feel taken care of and like i don't have to make sure everyone else is ok. also, soft blankets, old musicals, popcorn, massages, and platonic snuggling really helps.
Are there things we should not discuss?
if you aren't pro choice we should not discuss it. because i will walk away from the friendship after not too long of arguing. if we disagree on a musician, especially a female one, don't bring it up. especially if you are male. because i won't like it. and though we can agree to disagree bringing it up again means to me, that you are being an asshole. otherwise... no. i am pretty open to talking about things. even hard things. it's part of what made me who i am and though not my favorite topic of conversation, it's totally fine.
How should I treat you if you are physically ill?
Offer to bring me movies. and juice. and soup. i will resist but i really like being taken care of when i am sick. i also like it when many people come over and watch the movies with me. feels like family.
What makes you happy, that's in my power to grant as a friend?
playtime! piggyback rides down haight street (you ride). drinks out together. movies. dancy dancin. kindness. attention. communication. long conversations. sharing art. love. and photos of us together. my memory sucks. photos bring it all back so that i don't lose my past.
How would you like me to recognize your birthday?
with a zillion presents :) no really - i like presents. the best kind are small sacred objects that hopefully you made or didn't pay for. and letters. long ones. i love when people write me. i love when our friendship and kindness and love is all out on paper. gives my happy tingly feelings and i reread them all the time.
Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
i love lilacs. nothing is unwelcome - unless it costs a lot and then i might be a little like - why did you give me pricey gift?
Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
winter is too dark. i can get moody in it.
Are there important anniversaries that I should recognize in your life?
september. as a rule - the people i have loved most, and bonded the most with have been virgos. grandfather, mother, etc. so september is very sacred to me. and June 17th. this year will be the official 7 year anniversary of me and the mister on 6/17
Who are the most important people in your life to whom I should defer when making plans on your behalf?
the mister. you can try her at muy_macha but really, she isn't on LJ much.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-20 08:42 pm (UTC)I love writing letters. I love receiving letters. It's become a lost art with all this typing and editing.
Would you be interested in a little creative writing project around sending letters?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-20 11:28 pm (UTC)