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Jun. 22nd, 2007 09:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emchyso the biggest thing i took away from last nights show i wasn't able to articulate until this morning.
theres a lot of talk about how non trans folks can be trans allies - and rightly so. what i heard in Gina and Storm and Prado's pieces was this crucial piece that I so rarely hear talked about. how can trans folks be allies back. to the women. to the queers. to each other. and i was so moved. because when we do choose to be a part of the same community. as friends, chosen family, lovers - there has to be reciprocity. all of our journeys have hardships, and we have to be the allies of people we love (both personally love and in a larger social / philosophical model love)- otherwise it all just falls apart.
Storm talked about how he tries and wants to be an ally to women. To femmes. To remember that place and to not let the sexism slide just because sometimes it's a lot easier to -as a guy- let the bitches comments roll away. To not see some of the fucked up shit.
Prado talked about being a man - and not a boy - and making very specific decisions about what kind of man he wanted to be. There isn't just one model. There are many - and the one that is about taking responsibility was what he talked about. Some people thought he dropped some controversial bombs by talking about things that have happened in our community. An accused rape - that while the reality of what happened was muddy, the accused tried to explain away responsibility. Personally I think that only the two people in the room know what happened. But I do know that when any person of any gender calls rape - I want it to be heard and respected. I don't want community lynch mobs going after people - but dismissing a claimed crime is an ugly other side of the extreme. (and can someone clear up exactly what Breedlove's comment from the audience was - b/c i think i am remembering it wrong)
And Gina - amazing Gina - read about the Mich Fest article for Curve. But damn gurl where you hit me so had it made me cry with my own face in the mirror was talking about bodies. How feminine people (of all genders) are assumed bottoms, are assumed pliant, are assumed consent, are - as you put it "as good as our holes." Talking about how people who are more masculine and are changing their bodies are supposed to be given carte blanche for body boundaries and issues and the same is not true for those of us that swing more on the girl side.
Susan Stryker was awesome - and wanted us to touch in with our anger - our rage - at the increase in transphobia in the queer community in SF. She had us stand up and do a collective yell which made me so uncomfortable that I kind of shut down for the rest of the night. I have myself set up in very specific ways and collective shouting involves a certain amount of personal honesty and letting go of control that really - i would rather work out by myself.
But it just seemed like - moving forward - this idea of - how are we all allies to each other. This is the crux of it right?
How am i an ally to gay men, other dykes, womyn, trans men, trans women, bisexuals as i walk in the world on a daily basis?
What does that look like?
theres a lot of talk about how non trans folks can be trans allies - and rightly so. what i heard in Gina and Storm and Prado's pieces was this crucial piece that I so rarely hear talked about. how can trans folks be allies back. to the women. to the queers. to each other. and i was so moved. because when we do choose to be a part of the same community. as friends, chosen family, lovers - there has to be reciprocity. all of our journeys have hardships, and we have to be the allies of people we love (both personally love and in a larger social / philosophical model love)- otherwise it all just falls apart.
Storm talked about how he tries and wants to be an ally to women. To femmes. To remember that place and to not let the sexism slide just because sometimes it's a lot easier to -as a guy- let the bitches comments roll away. To not see some of the fucked up shit.
Prado talked about being a man - and not a boy - and making very specific decisions about what kind of man he wanted to be. There isn't just one model. There are many - and the one that is about taking responsibility was what he talked about. Some people thought he dropped some controversial bombs by talking about things that have happened in our community. An accused rape - that while the reality of what happened was muddy, the accused tried to explain away responsibility. Personally I think that only the two people in the room know what happened. But I do know that when any person of any gender calls rape - I want it to be heard and respected. I don't want community lynch mobs going after people - but dismissing a claimed crime is an ugly other side of the extreme. (and can someone clear up exactly what Breedlove's comment from the audience was - b/c i think i am remembering it wrong)
And Gina - amazing Gina - read about the Mich Fest article for Curve. But damn gurl where you hit me so had it made me cry with my own face in the mirror was talking about bodies. How feminine people (of all genders) are assumed bottoms, are assumed pliant, are assumed consent, are - as you put it "as good as our holes." Talking about how people who are more masculine and are changing their bodies are supposed to be given carte blanche for body boundaries and issues and the same is not true for those of us that swing more on the girl side.
Susan Stryker was awesome - and wanted us to touch in with our anger - our rage - at the increase in transphobia in the queer community in SF. She had us stand up and do a collective yell which made me so uncomfortable that I kind of shut down for the rest of the night. I have myself set up in very specific ways and collective shouting involves a certain amount of personal honesty and letting go of control that really - i would rather work out by myself.
But it just seemed like - moving forward - this idea of - how are we all allies to each other. This is the crux of it right?
How am i an ally to gay men, other dykes, womyn, trans men, trans women, bisexuals as i walk in the world on a daily basis?
What does that look like?
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Date: 2007-06-22 05:14 pm (UTC)http://www.flickr.com/photos/black_pearl_10/sets/72157600342320920/
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Date: 2007-06-22 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 05:23 pm (UTC)Charlie wrote that reading are her church, and this totally hits the mark for me, too. I grew up in a church, practically, and though I'm an atheist now, I still associate church first and foremost with community: people who gather to celebrate common ideas, to debate new ideas, to take care of each other in times of hardship. To be allies for one another, regardless of difference. This is what true community means. Otherwise it's a clique. I see a lot of high school drama at times that really pains me, because we all need each others' support so much, and it's not worth the short time we've got together. (I'm not talking about the big stuff or the specific incident you mention, which I know very little about.)
Sorry to ramble, possibly incoherently!
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Date: 2007-06-22 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 07:55 pm (UTC)in movement building ... it does the most good when you sit down at the table with someone who doesn't think like you and learn how to be "allies" or at least tolerant.
this makes me so happy to read. ty
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Date: 2007-06-22 11:45 pm (UTC)First off, Thank You. No, really -- THANK YOU. The flowers and sweetness and card and support last night meant the world to me, and were so sweet and unexpected.
Secondly: I really appreciate that you liked my piece as much as you did, and I'm glad it resonated with you... So many people talked about that section with me afterwards. I guess sometimes I need to say the scary things, huh?
More later, I think.
Much love to you,
g.