a snapshot day

just for a moment imagine that things could be as simple as getting in a car with some potato chips, some good beer and a blanket and that it cold be one of those days where you find a beach and the sun is on your face and it's good. no one has to be miserable. it's feeling on top of the world and like the future has hope.

i would settle for that today.
i will even hope for it to happen.

tired in the brain

today was good - in the long run. had long deep share at the morning meeting. felt very antiseptic about it, very pollyanna about some things that I honestly don't feel pollyanna about at all. things about money and dynamics and drama and shame. went out to bfast with the lady at 1 or so. went to our favorite place, where i always seem to cry. today was no exception. the watier loves us, so i guess we don't seem crazy, but honestly not one meal where i haven't shed a few. it was good though. got some scary things off my chest. see the universe seems to be giving me another shot at some bad times i had. two things, and now i get to try and react differently. when i was twenty two and it happened, i didn't do so well. here we are at thirty, take two, good luck. there are other things. about friends and trust and some very blessed people that i feel so... let's just say the trust thing is a new one, and it feels very very good.

on unrelated topics:
1. open mic was rad - thank you to black_pearl_10, borggrrl, imnotandrei, nadinelet, faerylass
and angry butterfly for coming[Bad username or unknown identity: ]

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i don't espcially WANT to go out tonight
and i have one last film to watch for pay
but i want to be wanted to go out

maybe is hould just get drunk while watching my movie to make it feel more festive

in another tangent - i decided today that if i ever have another 'bachelorette' sort of thing, i want final_girl to be in charge