(no subject)

[emchy]

many mojitos and slices of weekend cake later. i regret a little bit how i ate today, made me more lethargic and less talkative than usual

felt like i listened a lot and smiled a lot but said very little
i enjoyed the company though

the homestead had some fun
they're still at it downstairs, omigod my 60 something landlady is totally rowdier than me
i love that

she also had an affair with mayor moscone and there is a rumor she slept with mick jagger... have to get her drunk to talk about it though, when sober all i get is leading comments

my writing brain feels blank. mind as a blank journal page.

today i tried to explain why i don't like my job. started thinking maybe i am just whining
at the same time, i heard a song about coming out and 'playing the game' of your life and not just walking through it. i burst into tears driving down 18th street as i was going to get iced coffee. so maybe it's more than just whining.

hell. i dont know how i am going to get out of this one. maybe i just need to trust. but that is very very hard.