(no subject)

[emchy]

various entries are making me feel wistful

the arrival of the really really free thingy in dolores park has good timing
if i can convince myself to take all of the stuff that was otherwise going goodwill to the mission
first come first serve though for a cute pair of sugar brand flip flop platforms that have big blue stars on them, that's probably my best giveaway

i need some serious help removing clutter from my house and building shoe racks. the shoe situation is bad. cute swishy shoes all akimbo and waiting to become doggie chew toys without some sort of intervention

and yet all home improvements that have $$ involved have to wait. things are just a little precarious.

today i dreamt that i overslept and missed work today. my boss, who is usually the nicest ever got really mad. and basically i got fired for being flaky. i then woke up, and thought, do i really want to keep going to work

i hear people doing these things of checking out, figuring out other ways to live, adventures, travel, non office things and i wonder how they get there and how they afford it

i still know that give it a year or so but i won't be office bound anymore. trouble is not knowing how to put my feet on that path. maybe i already have and don't realize it yet

got an email from a pop culture editor of a gay mag today - and i am thinking, how the hell did you land that gig? what pieces still need to fall into place

a lot of good is coming into my life, and i am letting it, and am so thankful for it. given a taste though, i want more, and i want to want actively, to encourage and invite into my life the energy and direction of my fate. for a long time it felt like i was trying to circumvent my own life. now i want to embrace and embark and talking to the ancestors is part of it. learning to mourn is part of it. leaving the fear of myself behind is part of it. but the journey feels scary without guidance. and so i walk slowly and unsure, when my spirit wants to run (and my brain wants to pay the bills)

the summer air is further tempting me to be careless and irresponsible

Comments

[postmaudlin.livejournal.com]

i am very sad that the shoes are (i'm sure) too small for me.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

they are a size nine-ish

[crayonbeam.livejournal.com]

I too am tempted by the really really free market. Hmmmm.

[borggrrl.livejournal.com]

I have a box of things for Community Thrift that I thought about taking to the park on Saturday, but then I realized I'd have to do so on MUNI and then be responsible for everything that people didn't take while I'm trying to participate in the condom water balloon fight, so that plan was scrapped and the items are still going to Community Thrift.