pretty was in the house tonight - for reals

[emchy]

the benefit was a smashing success. money was raised. art was performed. chills, tears and laughs were more than had. but more than all of that - on a personal note. seeing people. reconnecting. and honestly - feeling my family of queer radical artists,activists and just MY fucking people being around - for me it was revolutionary. i've been feeling down and disconnected and sick and stressed out and a whole lotta unpleasantness for a long time now. its why i left the queer open mic. its why i find myself not writing as much. its why i am depressed and anti social a lot. like whine whine emo right - but i've been having a crisis of one kind or another for a while now and self care shcmelf care it aint seeming to be working. always so tired. so sad. so lethargic. and tonight. tonight i felt like i was getting sick. i was hella tired and stressed out and my rsi was cranky. but all of that didn't matter when i parked the car and saw steven pull in behind me. from that minute forward i felt like i was kinda home in this way that was all about people and community. even the people i didn't know were there with such good intention and goodness in their hearts that it was just - it was what friends and community are supposed to be. and it was amazing.i felt really honored to be a part of it. the personal messages to fran said into the camera. the cheers for the new uncle bear daddy in the house. the bruce springsteen shout outs. the casual way carol emceed like we were all at her dinner party. its this stuff that makes sf home for me. i may be thinkgin abut new orleans a lot these days. but you people. i fall in love with you all over again whenever i see you.

big big love.
now here are some pictures.
and now i go crashy.



                   

Comments

[knowyermonkey.livejournal.com]

awesome..i had every intention of going...but it was a rough day...glad to hear it was a success!

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

it was. woulda been good to see you but dang i totally understand!

[marialuminous.livejournal.com]

I've been feeling down too, and yes, it was a great evening. Thank you for performing, and for all that you did to help put it together.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

aw shucks. it was good seeing you darlin!

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

I chose to be in a different community event, making different connections; it was a very difficult decision.

Reading this makes me sniffly: for you, because even though I hardly know you, I've been hating how hard things are being for you (as seen in your LJ) and for me, because part of me was there, but not the part that gets to keep memories.

Thank you for all that you do.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Musing further ...

I think that, even in our rather more community-oriented corner of the super-individualistic American culture, it's really easy to forget that community work is self-care. And it feeds us in a way that no private self-care can (just as private self-care feeds us in a way that community work can't).

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

thanks. lately i've been feeling like i am not doing enough or much at all - and then i try to take on more and end up sicker or just crying all of the time. its no good. last night though - that is the sort of thing that matters. that makes the crying less. for sure. so easy to forget that community is self care.

[goodbadgirl.livejournal.com]

Community is self care. I had a dear person I wanted to go for that reason. It's for me but it's also for all of us. It revolutionary to love people like this. It's a beautiful thing to be a part of!

[goodbadgirl.livejournal.com]

"I chose to be in a different community event, making different connections; it was a very difficult decision."

It was the right decision. And I'm relieved that you made it. You were exactly where you were supposed to be.

I can't thank the both of you enough for all that you've done. xo

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

That group shot is awesome. Good to see everyone last night.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

so so good to see you.

[animikwaan.livejournal.com]

ah, i am very sad to have been stuck at work. i am glad it was a smashing success.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

i was wondering if i would see you. besos darlin.

[goodbadgirl.livejournal.com]

Aw, hello there beautiful people.

sniff......

and,

wow.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

you my dear are the wow. it's all you babe.

[black-pearl-10.livejournal.com]

Thank YOU!

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

thank YOU baby daddy!

[wingedcorset.livejournal.com]

This show was fucking fabulous. Oh man.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

thanks - it was good to meet you in person!