emchy

it was totally one of those days. i talked to my mom. we only talk like once every few months it seems like. maybe its every few weeks. anyway. thunderstorms there are so bad they're out of power and none is coming back until tomorrow night around 11pm if they're lucky. crazy. she asked what was up and i rattled off so many things until she understood why i hadn't called. then she asked - so you're playing accordion in these bands? and she was so proud. it felt so good.

last nights wedding experience was so good. it felt like the high school reunion that everyone always wants to have. people i haven't seen in 10+ years. some not recognizing me because i am thinnner and better hair cut and just more in my own skin. so much laughter and working out the water under the bridges and who got married and who has kids and it was crazy wow. haven't ever seen any of those old punks that dressed up. so respectable and so not as well. i got tapped to maybe do some backing vocals for the ranters. punk and i tlaked up rhubarb whiskey to anyone who would listen. i got my family back there. that's part of the love of punk. whenever i see him i feel like i get a little more family back. feel more in my skin and my history. i really just adore him. and this whole band thing. omg. i just love making music. good or bad. i just love it.

i wish there was more time in june. i need some solo time to recharge my batteries. meanwhile i got shows and rehearsals and want to record more and want to hey occasionally have a date with my wife and and and and... for now its just trying to balance. it's something something most nights before we leave for atlanta. we go to the airport the night of our 9 year anniversary. to me... it feels so right. so celebratory. when we got together i was a poet hiding. now i am a performer. and i wouldn't be there without the shoving me in the ass and support that she did. so somehow us getting on a plane to go vacation / perform in atlanta feels just right.

now its late and all i want is to go listen to more music drink some chamomile and read for a while.
i feel checked out of my life a little being so busy. but in the moment of the busy - my god i am just loving it. i just hope i can grab some of those moments while they're happening. i don't want to lose how this feels. i don't want to lose how it runs through my mind.

and... jesus h christ. i would like to see the rest of you too. its june. lets work this shit out.

xoxoxoxox