emchy

so yesterday was a ... weird? day. got to work at 7am so that i could get about five hours in before i left to go with rooster to an appt and then anniversary dinner and then on a plane. so all went well, work was fine, and after i left the office found out that roosters appt got mixed up so i stopped by target to get a summer dress for southern summer and a real piece of travel luggage so i can stop throwing my back into pain as i haul a 40lb messaenger back around the airport. got home, packed up my bags, and then rooster and i drove down to the strawberry farm to see some ocean and eat a pecan scone. it was really roosters first time out of the house that wasn't a dr's appt in about 10 days and it was gorgeous. we were both still coughing monkeys - but mostly better. so we decided to take 92 back to 280 both b/c it's faster and b/c it's one of our favorite mountain drivey things. somewhere on the drive my left ear popped funny. i didn't really think about it. figured it would balance itself out.  30 minutes later getting to downtown sf it was getting uncomfortable but again - seemed like it would sort itself out and i wanted us to enjoy the cajun / southern dinner at farmer brown.

this is where we fast forward. i could barely eat the ear was getting so uncomfortable. driving home i started leaking tears from the pain and trying not to cry b/c it made the pressure in my head worse. home and hunting online for home remedies so i  could just pop the damn ear before i was supposed to get on my flight. at 930 i was in the worst pain of my life, convinced i was going to lose my hearing or rupture an eardrum and just freaked out. gordonzola drove rooster and i to the ER where we waited for a while. the nice nurse gave me vicodin. that helped a lot. the nice doctor told me the ear was 'severely bulging' and 'wanted to burst' and that i should not no how get on a plane for a few days at least. in my head and my drug haze i was all NOOOOOOOOOOOO i need to go to atlanta. somewhere else in my head i was thinking 'almost bursty means hasnt burst oh thank god.'

i took a cab home while rooster went to walgreens and got my drugs. a heavy cocktail of antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, vicodin etc.

this morning the ear feels pressurey but not like i have an icepick in my head. i am afraid of even slight elevation changes and totally worn out from the drove me to my knees pain of last night so i don't forsee much in my day except the couch and maybe taking the dog to the park.

my excitement over this weekend tour was huge.  like been talking about it for over a year. finally going to see the people omg so excited huge. and my catholic guilt for not coming through on a gig - also huge. but the other piece. i was so close to being deaf as a child. had only 30% normal hearing capacity until they did some surgeries. i was so scared of losing my hearing - esp now as music is becoming so big in my life.

it was a freaky mixed up day.
i am still kinda reeling.