(no subject)

[emchy]

the more you know (why, yes, it is a meme)
The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

**the part of this where you are asked to post it in your journal is fully optional

Comments

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

OK, I've always wondered about the story of your marriage. You can tell me the details offline if you prefer.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

now there is a good question. :)
so back in the days of middle & high school i used to commonly mess around and be sexually active with my female friends. thought nothing of it. figured everyone did, certainly all of my friends did so... and didn't quite know about the whole lesbian thing. the farm town was still in the sticks enough that i just didn't get it. so i thought that girls were with each other for fun, pleasure, friendship, love and then you HAD to go be with guys because well, that's just what you were supposed to do.

Fast forward to freshman year of college. Seduced a good friend who looked like Julien Sands and was into vampires to lose my virginity. OK, sex was fine, nothing too exciting, though he disagreed. heh. A few months later i met the poet guy. long story short, i ended up saving his life a couple of times from attempted suicides. we became friends / lovers and were together for a long time. at year 1.25 he asked me if i was a lesbian. the thought never occurred to me. he bought me a copy of on our backs, bondage fairies and bad attitude. i did some introspection, some reading and was all HEY - I think I am a lesbian. and all of the girl affairs and make out sessions made so much more sense. we stayed together but negotiated a poly situation where we were free to see people who ID-ed as our own genders. That was fine for a while, though i was pretty unhappy. My mother really wanted us to get married. And when i returned from a summer internship at On our backs, she was pushing wedding invitation patterns at me. At 20, sad to say, my mother could *for some things* roll over me like a truck. so before i left mi, one week after getting my degree, we got married in a non-denom church in fowlerville where all references to gender were removed from the ceremony, which by all reports lasted about 8 minutes.

soon after we moved to phoenix, then back to bay area. about a year and a half later, after 6 years together, 1.5 of them married, and a few girlfriends, i met the mister and told the poet boy that our poly marriage wasn't working for me. i had to give THIS girl and I a real shot.

and so it ended. it was amicable. still is.