(no subject)
Nov. 27th, 2005 01:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emchyi just got the best haircut EVER
so happy
in other news
i am sorry to everyone i have not called or texted back this weekend
i am hibernating
occasionally hibernating in the MALL which is a bit weird, but definately in a not going out after dark, being on the couch in the apartment with no heat wrapped in a sleeping bag sort of hibernating. i want to rent the family guy movie. i want to hear the new madonna album. i am completely dull and boring and i am actually feeling kind of relaxed which is great.
usually i am so invested in doing doing doing and making sure 'it' all gets done. this weekend, for the third day in a row, i have not wanted to make plans. wanted to play it by ear. wanted to just sort of whatever. and it is working out pretty well.
it is bright and sunny and cloudless and freezing outside. it keeps smelling like winter and reminding me that i need to lose 10 lbs for those winter coats to fit right again. it is so pretty out, and there are only 3 more hours of daylight. the theory was to get the tree this weekend, but i don't know if it will happen. but the rest of the holiday is on the outside of the house at least, and new santa and snowman candles have been bought. did you know i am a huge holiday geek? i am. i own it. i embrace it. i like the colorful and the playful and the complete cheesiness of it. it also gives me a little bit of home.
i am feeling pretty estranged from my mother and thus, my family right now. nothing that is a big deal, but just a lack of sympathy, a lack of understanding. again the realization that they really don't want to know me, and that is probably the better for everyone involved. but i forget, and reach out with the real me, and to have your actual self rejected is so much harder. yea, so, holiday corniness is my way of remembering relatives who did love me for myself, for family times that were actually good, for moments with my grandfather, etc. i did my time in hating the holidays, and i know that they can be and usually are full of pressure, dysfunction, and some serious othering of non-christian spirituality. but humor me this year, i like the elves.
so happy
in other news
i am sorry to everyone i have not called or texted back this weekend
i am hibernating
occasionally hibernating in the MALL which is a bit weird, but definately in a not going out after dark, being on the couch in the apartment with no heat wrapped in a sleeping bag sort of hibernating. i want to rent the family guy movie. i want to hear the new madonna album. i am completely dull and boring and i am actually feeling kind of relaxed which is great.
usually i am so invested in doing doing doing and making sure 'it' all gets done. this weekend, for the third day in a row, i have not wanted to make plans. wanted to play it by ear. wanted to just sort of whatever. and it is working out pretty well.
it is bright and sunny and cloudless and freezing outside. it keeps smelling like winter and reminding me that i need to lose 10 lbs for those winter coats to fit right again. it is so pretty out, and there are only 3 more hours of daylight. the theory was to get the tree this weekend, but i don't know if it will happen. but the rest of the holiday is on the outside of the house at least, and new santa and snowman candles have been bought. did you know i am a huge holiday geek? i am. i own it. i embrace it. i like the colorful and the playful and the complete cheesiness of it. it also gives me a little bit of home.
i am feeling pretty estranged from my mother and thus, my family right now. nothing that is a big deal, but just a lack of sympathy, a lack of understanding. again the realization that they really don't want to know me, and that is probably the better for everyone involved. but i forget, and reach out with the real me, and to have your actual self rejected is so much harder. yea, so, holiday corniness is my way of remembering relatives who did love me for myself, for family times that were actually good, for moments with my grandfather, etc. i did my time in hating the holidays, and i know that they can be and usually are full of pressure, dysfunction, and some serious othering of non-christian spirituality. but humor me this year, i like the elves.
