gloomy sunday

i am starting to see the reasons behind a twitter feed. twofold really. first if you collated all of your tiny thoughts together into a feed - it almost makes a real blog post and at least gives a snapshot of a period of time. but second and mostly - when you spending the day breaking all of what happens into micro blogs - there isn't enough built up thinking to constitute an actual blog post. tonight i was sitting and thinking and realizing i miss more of the long writing. and sometimes it happens and hell i wrote big parts of a new song today but... i miss the longer and introspective journallings. also sad is that my core of folks who brought me into LJ have all (yes i am looking at you) for a variety of reasons pulled away from the blogging. and... i miss those entries. i miss reading the random musing that would inspire my own random musing and watch our art feed and build off of each other like a many tentacled exquisite corpse. when i do see a post from the chosen family i squee inside and get so excited and invested i can barely - and so rarely do - make a comment. but less comments tend to beget less posts and so i am working to not fulfill the pessimists prophecy but instead the hope. thus more posting from me :)

its a week post starting the new job and excitement still abounds. the old demons of rsi and carpal are back and my back and shoulders let me know it this weekend. just one week of a bad set up and a bad keyboard and i started to get the aches and can't move and ow ow ow and fingers numb that i have been happy to be away from for a while. friday the new keyboard came and i reset the whole setup deal. can't know yet if it will be better. sigh. but to that end - on friday i met a new friend (yay new friends) who is also a bodyworker and he gave me a great stretch for the numb fingers thing. he also managed to in quick new friend at a club way get right to the heart of the problem in my shoulders. magic touch for real. so i am going to try and figure out some once a month situation for him to make my muscles happier. it will mean more freelancing for me in order to make the bills, but i need it to keep my arms in action for the bands. and that isn't negotiable. the way the arms and back are now could put me out of music commission fast and that's not acceptable. so fix the desk.  get the bodywork. do the stretches. and cross my damn fingers.

saturday was a small hangover and a drive to bolinas. the tide was so far out we ran out into the surf and the hidden ocean rocks. saw starfish and crabs scuttling. climbed up hundreds of pounds of driftwood and imagined everything beautiful. it was grey fuzzy windy cold and the blustery gave me a fisherman's complexion for a few ruddy hours. the water in the tide pools smelled like lake superior while rooster noticed all the different seaweed that we eat from rainbow washed up full of shells on the shore.

sunday was all jazz standards and cuban food. breakfast was black beans, plantains and eggs with green salsa. thick hard coffee with clouds of blooming soymilk. i ran out into the rain for provisions early and once i braved the people who don't understand the courtesy needed at rainbows parking lot i cooked up the food, turned up the jazz vocals and just relaxed. allergies kicked in around 3pm so cancelled the going out to oscars and opted to stay in. lots of sniffly sneezy misery lent itself to the comforts of the couch being perfect and around 5 we ordered brazilian food. me with saffron chicken and okra. rooster with garlic steak and collard greens. watching the awards and wondering how scared are the close minded folks. the ones who don't like foreigners, leftys or gays. because seriously this was one oscars where it was all about the 'other.' In a show where Mickey Rourke is your closest placeholder for the middle class white man, he as a chosen misanthropic iconoclast who has an overt love for his herd of chihuahuas and just general freakiness - he was the closest those 'regular' folks got. a friend on facebook posted that she could see the tipping point. i was wondering if i could see the backlash. yet seeing dustin lance bass's speech for best screenwriter - i was crying. robert deniro's charming poke at penn for so convincingly playing straight for all these years, awesome. and penn winning and using his time to talk about how folks who voted for prop 8 should be ashamed and go stump for equal rights. well... there is definitely something to be said for visibility. meanwhile slumdog picking up the rest of the big awards including best picture - it was just a good night in general for the oscars. also nice were the w00t w00ts for pixar and tina feys nice dig at scientology.

now full of food, knowing i should burn some mixes to send to a friend - and knowing i am too tired to. wanting to pull all of these thoughts together and think. but its hard with the sleepy sound of wheels on wet pavement zipping by and rain hitting the windows. the train pulling up full of rattling and people going places. always looking for yellow warm cozy inside and i wonder where their adventures go tonight while i sit here on the 2nd floor just watching them like the old neighborhood gossip.

tomorrow the week starts again. i have an accordion lesson. i have practice.  on thurs vagabondage has a show at sfsu and on friday we fly to new orleans. i am hunting for an affordable gypsy dance class. i have a perfect coffee date. i am feeling so right about where i am. one foot in front of the other. ready to just keep on going. it just feels like the right thing.