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a whole day - feels so short
Jan. 3rd, 2005 11:13 ammonday jan 3rd - and for the first time in way too long, i have a day off to myself
the lady started her new job, and the only thing I have to do is take the dog for a walk.
i have been loking forward to this - the house is mine, my time is mine, i can dance around, i can sing, i can lay naked on the floor for no reason, and no one is around to see whatever i do. very happy.
of course, this being me, my first second and third instincts are to call the other people that i know have flexi schedules and see who wants to hang out, or go to amoeba, or go on a dog walk. alone time, especially when i am not used to it, can get a little loud with the thoughts in my head and only me to hear them. and then, while i am figuring out a way to get out of being alone, i am also so frustrated, because of all the many things i want to do today, they all require moving in a slow or 'time doesn't matter' sort of way, and if i were to do all i want, well time would have to matter and there probably aren't enough hours in the day
as soon as email time and bfast are done, i am off to the park for the dog walk, and then i think, to the cafe for reading new books of poetry and thinking about bugs
last night was good, better than good. went to k'vetsch, and loved the readers. loved my reading. did not love being hit on aggressively, but quelled that (i wish men who act very gay would not turn out to be of the more predatory str8 variety) but at least via some very direct conversation, it made it ok. took yoga girl home and then decided some sort of cheesy meaty mexican food was in order and convinced pal to come with me. good food, better conversation and i am on a happy as new friend becomes more of a real friend, and yes, happy fuzz on this new day and this new year that are going as well as i can hope so far
two biggest goals for 2005
more friend time
more good orgasm moment poems
send more work out to be seen in the world
(ok that's three but i like to dream big)
xo
the lady started her new job, and the only thing I have to do is take the dog for a walk.
i have been loking forward to this - the house is mine, my time is mine, i can dance around, i can sing, i can lay naked on the floor for no reason, and no one is around to see whatever i do. very happy.
of course, this being me, my first second and third instincts are to call the other people that i know have flexi schedules and see who wants to hang out, or go to amoeba, or go on a dog walk. alone time, especially when i am not used to it, can get a little loud with the thoughts in my head and only me to hear them. and then, while i am figuring out a way to get out of being alone, i am also so frustrated, because of all the many things i want to do today, they all require moving in a slow or 'time doesn't matter' sort of way, and if i were to do all i want, well time would have to matter and there probably aren't enough hours in the day
as soon as email time and bfast are done, i am off to the park for the dog walk, and then i think, to the cafe for reading new books of poetry and thinking about bugs
last night was good, better than good. went to k'vetsch, and loved the readers. loved my reading. did not love being hit on aggressively, but quelled that (i wish men who act very gay would not turn out to be of the more predatory str8 variety) but at least via some very direct conversation, it made it ok. took yoga girl home and then decided some sort of cheesy meaty mexican food was in order and convinced pal to come with me. good food, better conversation and i am on a happy as new friend becomes more of a real friend, and yes, happy fuzz on this new day and this new year that are going as well as i can hope so far
two biggest goals for 2005
more friend time
more good orgasm moment poems
send more work out to be seen in the world
(ok that's three but i like to dream big)
xo
