emchy

dreamt that i was in new orleans. it was me and my two bandmates. we had a show on royal st and i was't the driver that got us there - but i was the on street navigator. all i wanted was to stop at all of these places we passed and enjoy - but it was all rainy gorgoeus alice in wonderland feeling of i'm late i'm late.  i woke up smelling ocean from open windows - and i was confused - because all i was wanting to smell was river.

i miss it. i miss there.

i haven't ever been a resident. i was a two trip a year and then a trip every year and then every two years and now not for a long time sort of tourist. stayed in the garden district or the marigny and walked audobon park and sat in preservation hall with stupid blue haired smiles on my faces until on almost every trip my cohort was more than ready to go while i grew roots in the floor.

lately i meet people who talk to me about where i live. where they live. where they're going. and it feels like moving points on a map. it feels like looking at the futre and where my point of light is moving. for so long with me and rooster it's been talk of nyc. if not here then nyc. and now it feels like new orleans is working its way back into my plans. it took the post college immediacy hiatus. i got my bearings and set up my life here. now i am hearing that song again. it's like a pull on the lowest deepest part of my heart that i don't quite understand. but it's hard to not attend to a pull that strong.

i am going back in late spring for a writing conference.
i still need to buy the ticket.
what am i waiting for.