informal poll

[emchy]

ok folks

the friend crush

meaning either: a. platonic friend that you have developed romantic feelings for, or b. new friend that you do not have the sparkly lust for, but you are so excited about them that it feels crush like

experiences with? is this sort of crush a friend or foe to long term relationships? how do you integrate new crush friends into your life?

(questions based on watching A LOT of Sex in the City, Queer as Folk and L Word while sick, and wondering about the core group of friends, how new people join the family of friends we create as we change over time, do friend crushes always mean bad things, how do friend / mind crushes differently impact different people?_

disclosure - i am a big friend crusher (by definition b.) i love shiny new friends, and usually cannot get enough of them. it's part of how i integrate them into my life. part of how we get to know each other. there are so many distractions and friends already in my life that for me, without the fun mind crush thrill of a new friendship it is hard to make those calls, keep those dates, etc. so i think it is my way of making it happen. i am curious about yours...

Comments

[redshrike.livejournal.com]

i do try to introduce my friendcrush friends (the new shiny friends, not necessarily the lust-object crushes) to whichever group(s) of my pre-existing friends seems most appropriate, hope that friendships form there; i already know i'm not always so good about maintaining ongoing contact with friends. if newfriends make friends with my oldfriends, i have more assurance they'll still be around and i'll see them once in a while. kind of a dirty trick, maybe, but i think i can safely say that it's not something i do consciously...or wasn't conscious of it until now.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

i agree the lustobject ones are a whole other issue

i like the introducing to introducing, also a good litmus test because if everyone likes each other and plays nice, then it proves that it's a good sort of romper room fit together kind of thing

[onemeatball.livejournal.com]

I like shiny new friends a lot... Any crush-like feelings I experience usually go away pretty quickly. When I get to know someone new is when I either really start to like them or know they'll only be a friend. Though I have to say I wouldn't mind a friend crush right now. Certainly would make things more exciting.