emchy: (Default)
[personal profile] emchy
listening to tow waits alice album. remember visiting steve in rhodle island that one summer. taking the bus by myself into manhattan to meet corey to see hairspray. my second time in NYC. the greyhound ride with the cd on repeat and watching the world change from green to grey. rural and wooded to sleek and concrete with none of the messiness of nature. only the human messes. i was probably one of them without even seeing it.

i feel taken for granted. but more haunting to me. i feel like the people that i want to give more to, appreciate me more, love me and find me sacred. and the people that i give so much to, it just doesn't matter to them. people who owe me nothing are giving me so many gifts lately. and the people that maybe should see how i am helping... nada.

there is a riddle in that for me.
maybe it's clear
but i don't see it
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