pretty pretty

[emchy]

last thing about the pictures I was jealous that joel got the gun but then mike pointed out I get to be the pirate yahar mateys! 

  

 so I added a picture to the header of my blog, got lost in swirling html code, and lost the title of my blog to cyberspace - sigh cool thing about the picture is my friend Mike drew it for me -he did a portrait of me and my pal joel . and they are both so cool - makes me smile everytime I see it for someone so invested and curious about how they are seen by other people, i like that vision of myself quite a lot but i am at work again and the admin stuff is fine, but I was talking to Ali and realizing that i just hate hate hate being cooped up in an office all day. problem is the other careers i think of turning to are so not financially solvent, and so then am I a money driven evil thing to want for financial comfort? does that contradict my artistic and poetic aspirations and corrupt me as a true artist - or more likely does it just mean that I like being able to eat food other than ramen and mac and cheese anyway - i keep thinking of the day we move or more immediately - the day my queer open mic debuts - this friday and I am excited, but with few spoken wordy events this week - i feel my momentum slowing, the channel in my brain that sees art is fuzzing out as my conscious thoughts become filled with raffle tickets and newsletters and memberships and blah blah blah by the way - i am green with envy over the live journal thing - seems so much edgier than blogger or is this a grass is greener thing...hmmmmmm