![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Dec. 3rd, 2004 11:11 amhmmm today so far not liking it not so much
it will get better i know
i was plagued for the second night in a row with strange friend dreams
people calling me out - knowing things that i have never told them - coming to me for support and crying on my shoulder
and while none of it was specifically BAD, or revealing subconsious things that freaked me out, they were decidedly strange and foreboding...left me worried and uncertain when i woke up
sometimes i have the dreams that feel like they are some future reality, and that usually does come to pass. often silly. two years before i met charlotte i dreamt that i was in this apartment watching two people i didn't know trim a tree while a black cat walked across the room. the dream felt full of love and crankiness. it happened four years later, xmas time, her apartment and the cranky was all about her roommate who drove me crazy, and the cat was moses.
so i guess i am a little put off by the thought that someone i care about so much (who is not on LJ, so no paranoia allowed) is at some point going to be sitting on my floor and sobbing about how things went wrong, and all i can do is be a shoulder. the powerlessness is what is sitting on me today. just lingering.
meanwhile - i am just fucking up my eating this week. i know i know. i am not trying to be an ass about it. again today though, i didn't remember to start the oatmeal last night, and so there was no bfast, and we are out of coffee. so i had this plan. go to peoples, get a depth charge, mmmm yummy, get to work and go get a bfast smoothie from jamba juice. i have a two for one coupon so i can make lots of fruity goodness be xtra cheap. well. i got in, post double depth charge (which means two shots of espresso in a large cup of coffee) got sucked into worky work, and then got all toxicified before i could go get a juice. so i got a bagel from downstairs, and feel funky. just funky
blech
it will get better i know
i was plagued for the second night in a row with strange friend dreams
people calling me out - knowing things that i have never told them - coming to me for support and crying on my shoulder
and while none of it was specifically BAD, or revealing subconsious things that freaked me out, they were decidedly strange and foreboding...left me worried and uncertain when i woke up
sometimes i have the dreams that feel like they are some future reality, and that usually does come to pass. often silly. two years before i met charlotte i dreamt that i was in this apartment watching two people i didn't know trim a tree while a black cat walked across the room. the dream felt full of love and crankiness. it happened four years later, xmas time, her apartment and the cranky was all about her roommate who drove me crazy, and the cat was moses.
so i guess i am a little put off by the thought that someone i care about so much (who is not on LJ, so no paranoia allowed) is at some point going to be sitting on my floor and sobbing about how things went wrong, and all i can do is be a shoulder. the powerlessness is what is sitting on me today. just lingering.
meanwhile - i am just fucking up my eating this week. i know i know. i am not trying to be an ass about it. again today though, i didn't remember to start the oatmeal last night, and so there was no bfast, and we are out of coffee. so i had this plan. go to peoples, get a depth charge, mmmm yummy, get to work and go get a bfast smoothie from jamba juice. i have a two for one coupon so i can make lots of fruity goodness be xtra cheap. well. i got in, post double depth charge (which means two shots of espresso in a large cup of coffee) got sucked into worky work, and then got all toxicified before i could go get a juice. so i got a bagel from downstairs, and feel funky. just funky
blech
