(no subject)

the weekend was going pretty well
too much coffee or a bad salad on saturday afternoon rendered me horizontal for a few hours
just long enough to flake out on a baby shower that i really wanted to attend
because for one the moms and the friends were cool
and on the way to the store - to help my stomach pain with some good ice cream that I knew i would want later
that I have been craving and bitching to C- that i want all week
on the way out of my house, my home, my only safe place
i got to have
my downstairs neighbor
scream in my face
and tell me
all proud of himself
how he been fucking with my dog
sweet Lucky dog
who is just an innocent
who has been bitten by other dogs and never snapped back
who live with two cats that smack her down on a regular basis and they're all still friends
whose main joy in life
is to wiggle her butt while she wags her tail and tries to lick you

He is fucking with my dog
and it is so not ok

and so now what
is the question
is the anxiety
move out?
stay and try to be careful and *hope* that he doesn't manage to really hurt her?
and will he then turn his attention to the cats, the plants
our apartment
us?

I hate this.
I hate being poor - stuck in a stiuation because I don't have first last and deposit without some preparation, a lot of preparation and this is not a preparation situation. home no longer feels safe - and so time to find a new home.....

fuck