thirty

[emchy]

i keep getting asked how i feel about turning 30 and it just doesn't feel like anything different

sure i am marking a decade, and my awareness of that has turned me introspective - made me put a blazing arrow under my ass and thrown laziness and procrastination of my writing out the window but it feels like - I feel so amazing that I am getting more and more powerful in my owning of being a poet

not so much like being 30 caused that - but it's a continuing evolution

so i wonder after the bday hits am i suddenly going to breakdown and realize i was in denial and freak out because i am 30

what does it even mean

i'm not old - far the fuck from it

everyone I admire is older than me (except for you lofiordie )

so what is the issue? what is the drama I am expected to be having? am i again missing out on some grand american coming of age experience - or am i having one already and won't realize it until i am looking back... hmmm