back on the farm

headed on out to sonoma tonight. have mr new york visiting and it's one of those got to go where he's at because i have the transport issues. it was awesome though. big thick beams of wood houses and secret hidden gardens looking over sonoma and there were queers and kids and hot tubs and seriously as i was leaving petaluma the night air smelled like corn. there were homes winking at me with their lights from the valley. there were stars. old rickety farm fences. cows, horses and some serious rural that was this wonderful blend of what smells like home and what reminds me of relaxing in california. i have lived here for 12 years. long enough to know the smell of rural here as much as from michigan and i love it. sometimes i wonder if i will ever smell "home" again when home is split by so many miles and so many years. home is split between memory and reality. between coasts and the midwest. between cows and trains. the smell of wet city cement, grey and hard. and wet country asphalt. dark and rich with soil grass and worms. it was a delight though. ended up at the local pembrooke gay bar. i of course drank makers. mr new york butched it up on my account and did bud with a shot of jack. we danced a bit. reminisced about the lesbian two step of club fuck and five o dive where we earned our homo stripes back in michigan. it was so good to see him. love that one madly madly. he is good people. i wish i could've just stayed over and talked all night truth be told. wake up tomorrow to coffee and the smell of california trees and heat and drying grass. smell the dew drying off of the plants while i bleary eyed watched the birds wake up and the feral cats chase them. do that walk around outside in the morning barefoot thing that makes me feel alive and connected. but - sadly - i have to work in the morning. and so - drove home in the air that smelled like corn and felt it all change. listening to the mix i love, singing at top volume, while the 38 mile drive that took 2.5 hours to get there, had me back home in less than an hour and it's another world. here the grass smells wet. i can taste the eucalyptus on the air from stern grove down the street. and the fog is nipping at the air, warning us, it'll be back in the morning. so better not get too comfortable in the night air. it was a good night though. i needed it.