friends

[emchy]

omg - so tired. had to do the late night porn patrol for one of the sites and am just about for bed. feeling grateful that i have patient friends. people who waited for me and were patient as my life fell apart and back together and apart and just - held it while i went through what was necessary. thankful that i have people that i can call on - but that aren't high maintenance and that we can just be friends and come together when needed and fall apart for space and back together and... how exactly is this defined?

true - i miss the friends that i would stay up all night with. talking and bitching and driving and drinking and smoking.

but i guess somewhere along the way i saw
that i could drink with them on the river
or we could make stone cold sober collages in their closet
or we could pony the dyke march
or we could just get a cuppa coffee once a month, or six months, or year, or two years

and the people with the heart connection. they got it. they got it simple.

i have local people that i see daily that are just acquaintences. i have local people who i see once a month that i consider closer than family. and i have long distance people that i have never met who are sacred.

the common thread. pressure. guilt and pressure do not for me make the friendships. people who just let it happen. who let it be. who let me exist without expectation and what comes comes - thank you. you gave me enough space to really love and treasure you.

i hate to disappoint people. and now i have some people where i can love them - and just... be. love without guilt. it's kind of a new one for me. thank you.

Comments

[liltrouble222.livejournal.com]

amen sister.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

seriously

[victoriae.livejournal.com]

I believe I saw you at Seller's Market yesterday around lunch time. Right before you got up to leave with your man/friend, you looked at me and smiled.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

you know - i was THINKIN that was you
next time you'll definately get a more forthcoming HOWDY

[victoriae.livejournal.com]

Small world :) I am working for Yoga Journal magazine for the next two months, so most of my week is spent downtown. I was there getting some lunch for my boyfriend because he was busy working.

BTW, the dancing twinkies on your arm are the shit.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

thanks - it's a bathtub happy dancing - :)

[(Anonymous)]

Yay!

Speaking of guilt (mine not yours), I still need to remember to pick up my art. And Steven's too! I think it will be a good thing for the new job.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

That was me, dropping my cookie.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

hee - i have your ready and waiting

[crayonbeam.livejournal.com]

I admire people, strive to be one of them, who can be apart for 3 months or 3 years, and have the conversation start up as if one had just gone to the fridge for a beer.

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

you totally are one of them