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reworked piece that i read last night
antlers.
hunting.
sex.
deer blinds.
musty smell of cabins.
smell of old wood panelling and american beer.
dirt under nails.
guns that are never fired.
the sharp smell of blood when the carcass comes home. open flesh strapped to hoods of american cars. never on a foreign car - something about blood and steel that can only come from detroit. horrifying and sexual all at once. violence carved into skins and honored on the wall. i wonder if culture allowed it - if you would put the hips of every woman you fucked up there. mounted on that wall. cleaned of flesh and bone and love and sweat. bleached and sterile. bones of a conquest. of a moment. of destroying something you weren't ever meant to have.
once i laid naked at 3am on the roof of my parents house. you could climb out through the bathroom window. i went out a lot to listen to my radio when they weren't home. but that night with stars and branches and moon owning the sky - i jerked off for the first time with roof shingles scratching into my back and at sixteen with blood on my shoulders, i was my own trophy. these hips were owned by me. and i would put them on my wall - to honor -
hunting.
sex.
deer blinds.
musty smell of cabins.
smell of old wood panelling and american beer.
dirt under nails.
guns that are never fired.
the sharp smell of blood when the carcass comes home. open flesh strapped to hoods of american cars. never on a foreign car - something about blood and steel that can only come from detroit. horrifying and sexual all at once. violence carved into skins and honored on the wall. i wonder if culture allowed it - if you would put the hips of every woman you fucked up there. mounted on that wall. cleaned of flesh and bone and love and sweat. bleached and sterile. bones of a conquest. of a moment. of destroying something you weren't ever meant to have.
once i laid naked at 3am on the roof of my parents house. you could climb out through the bathroom window. i went out a lot to listen to my radio when they weren't home. but that night with stars and branches and moon owning the sky - i jerked off for the first time with roof shingles scratching into my back and at sixteen with blood on my shoulders, i was my own trophy. these hips were owned by me. and i would put them on my wall - to honor -