too much coffee chick

[emchy]

i drank so much coffee i am on perma blush for the last 3 hours
i am jittery and feeling a bit ill
i am hydrating and pissed at myself for knowing better

had a wonderful lunch with a shiny new friend
i didn't want to come back to work
it felt like we could've gone on and on

but last night
an old friend stopped by
and only was discouraging
almost disappointed that I am making new writer friends

fuck
i hate people sometimes
i want more time with shiny new friends
or is it all bullshit

i feel like Sally Fields unsure and unbelieving "you really really like me?"
don't know if I actually buy it
but i am trying to
because i really like
these new people
and something in me is stirring
that i am so afraid of
but i need it

i need to return
to trusting my friends
and not coming at them
with what i think they'll like
but who i actually am

i haven't had that
since pat broke up our friendship
i miss him
but i need to move forward

Comments

[susannochka.livejournal.com]

hey, for what it's worth,
I really really like you
even though we haven't really gotten to hang
and I'm kind of disappeared right now, mainly
because of this class I'm taking, and work, which is just depressing me...
but I was so happy to have met you; it gave me new hope and warm fuzzies that there are still good people left in this city. hope that I'm not coming off all California Flakey what with the not being around.
hang in there!

[cindymonkey.livejournal.com]

so not flaky
so what i needed to hear
I LOVE VALIDATION
and i really really like you too

let's hang out and feel all silly fuzzy for happy new friends